Life’s a roller coaster… 

My surgery was scheduled for Thursday March 31st, 2016. I knew I would be there through the weekend and Monday would be the earliest they let me go home. That weekend was foggy. The morphine kept me asleep most of the time. When I was awake, I couldn’t wait to get back to sleep. This was convenient for the time being as I had a drainage tube stuck in the side of my neck that went straight across my throat under my skin. It was as uncomfortable as it sounds. The nurses were nice enough, though, they insisted they had to wake me up what felt like every hour to check my vitals and feed me some knew cup of pills that never appeared to have the same contents twice. Having my blood drawn was another game entirely, 3-4 times a day I was being poked. Then the news came, “Your calcium and magnesium levels are too low. You will be given four bags of calcium at two hours each and two bags of magnisum at one hour each all night.” I didn’t get much sleep that night. Every time a bag needed to be changed an alarm would sound and wake me from what little sleep I was getting. Receiving the calcium wasn’t so bad, it left me feeling cold mostly but, the magnisum kept me wide awake, it burned my IV site as it entered. The pain was unbareable. Bobby slept only six feet away so it took everything in my power to not scream in pain. I remained positive, “they will let me go soon” was consistently on my mind. Visitors came and went. Bobby stayed by my side as long as he could but come Tuesday he would have to get back to work and I so badly wanted to be home by the time he went back. My body continued to suck up the calcium but my levels never increased. I always suspected a calcium deffiencey but I never thought it would be this bad. Day after day I sat in that bed, walked the halls of the floor I was confined to, stared out the window all while being being poked, prodded and monitored. I would be lying to say I didn’t cry at times. This was test of endurence while being at my worst. Days past, my tube came out, my strength started to return, well most of it. As my strength started to regain I noticed my right arm, my dominant arm, remained weak… My frustration started to build with the pain that started to slowly work its way down my arm and through my shoulder. This was not part of the plan, I was not warned that this could happen, is it permanent, what do I do now? The pain grew with every remaining day I stayed in the hospital. Every day I remained there my anger and frustration grew. My pacience wore thin. I wanted to be home, free of tubes and IV’s. I wanted to be better, to get back to work, to feel normal. More days passed, my levels went up… And then back down… Lower then the before… I was never going to get to leave. They relocated my IV site, more fluids, more calcium, more, more, more. Bruises started to appear on the insides of my elbows from where they were pulling my blood. I started to give up on the idea of being able to leave anytime soon. The doctors changed my calcium intake. I would no longer be recieving calcium through my IV, instead they upped my oral dose. Four tabs of calcium three times a day totaling 2400 MG. That did the trick my body finally started responding. A few more days and a whole lot of waiting but I was finally released on April 7th, 2016 after 8 days that felt like an eternity.

Thank you everyone who came to visit or sent me messages of encouragement, they kept my spirits up during a very trying time in my life.

XO,

Ashley

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